1
00:00:01,330 --> 00:00:03,332
Previously on Californication...
2
00:00:03,790 --> 00:00:05,763
This better not be an intervention.
3
00:00:05,797 --> 00:00:07,442
You gotta get your ass to rehab.
4
00:00:07,476 --> 00:00:09,849
Why are you here? Why are you
wasting all of our time?
5
00:00:09,883 --> 00:00:11,618
Maybe you're just an asshole.
6
00:00:11,653 --> 00:00:13,959
Your friend Charlie said
you drank your own urine.
7
00:00:13,993 --> 00:00:15,363
Hank Moody.
8
00:00:15,398 --> 00:00:16,640
Is that Atticus Fetch?
9
00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:18,768
Let's make a fuckin' masterpiece.
10
00:00:18,802 --> 00:00:20,170
What do you say?
11
00:00:22,706 --> 00:00:23,807
Are you high right now?
12
00:00:25,210 --> 00:00:27,114
It was such an incredible opportunity,
13
00:00:27,149 --> 00:00:28,619
- I didn't want to miss out.
- When can you start?
14
00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:29,921
I have the job?
15
00:00:29,956 --> 00:00:31,690
What do you do in the real world?
16
00:00:31,725 --> 00:00:34,498
I traverse the globe
in the company of musicians.
17
00:00:34,532 --> 00:00:36,367
- You're a groupie.
- I prefer "muse."
18
00:00:36,402 --> 00:00:40,675
I woke up with the most gifted
guitar player, but he was dead.
19
00:00:40,710 --> 00:00:41,945
Do you want to get high?
20
00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:56,799
Look, could I stand
to lose a few pounds?
21
00:00:56,833 --> 00:00:58,468
Sure, I'm a big boy, I get it,
22
00:00:58,502 --> 00:01:01,473
but addicted to food?
That's just fuckin' gay.
23
00:01:01,508 --> 00:01:03,509
Gay, man--I mean,
no offense, but it's gay.
24
00:01:03,543 --> 00:01:05,378
I eat 'cause I like the taste.
25
00:01:05,412 --> 00:01:07,914
Look, if I didn't like the taste
of it, I wouldn't eat it.
26
00:01:07,949 --> 00:01:11,051
You know what I'm talkin' about,
sweetheart, right? Huh?
27
00:01:11,086 --> 00:01:12,988
But wasn't a trip to the emergency room
28
00:01:13,022 --> 00:01:14,662
what brought you here?
Severe chest pains?
29
00:01:14,692 --> 00:01:16,192
- Bullshit.
- Bullshit.
30
00:01:16,226 --> 00:01:17,827
That was a panic attack,
not a heart attack.
31
00:01:17,862 --> 00:01:20,597
It was a panic attack
brought on by that shrill voice
32
00:01:20,632 --> 00:01:22,333
of that fuckin' mother of mine.
33
00:01:22,367 --> 00:01:24,336
"Oh, you're too fat, Teddy.
You're gonna die.
34
00:01:24,371 --> 00:01:26,105
"You're too fuckin' fat
to do anything, Teddy.
35
00:01:26,140 --> 00:01:28,007
You're too fat
to work the snowblower."
36
00:01:28,042 --> 00:01:30,510
Fuck her. She's the reason
I'm in here, you understand?
37
00:01:30,544 --> 00:01:33,179
They took an EKG on me, all right?
38
00:01:33,213 --> 00:01:34,747
I got the heart of a teenager.
39
00:01:37,385 --> 00:01:39,354
A morbidly obese teenager.
40
00:01:39,388 --> 00:01:42,023
Come on.
41
00:01:42,058 --> 00:01:44,693
Don't be so sensitive.
42
00:01:44,727 --> 00:01:45,761
Faith?
43
00:01:45,795 --> 00:01:48,297
Do you know what time it is?
44
00:01:48,332 --> 00:01:50,867
It's time to get real.
45
00:01:50,901 --> 00:01:53,136
Share with us.
46
00:01:53,170 --> 00:01:54,871
Well, um,
47
00:01:54,905 --> 00:01:57,207
as many of you know...
48
00:01:57,242 --> 00:02:01,045
the other day I woke up next to a guy
49
00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:05,417
I was pretty fucking fond of,
and he was dead.
50
00:02:05,451 --> 00:02:11,089
So tears were shed,
boos were fuckin' hoo'd,
51
00:02:11,123 --> 00:02:13,224
and it sucks to be me.
52
00:02:13,259 --> 00:02:14,726
And that led to the drugs and alcohol.
53
00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:16,894
No, not really.
54
00:02:16,929 --> 00:02:19,898
Um, been on pretty good terms
with drugs and alcohol.
55
00:02:19,932 --> 00:02:21,800
Hallelujah!
Preach on, sister.
56
00:02:21,834 --> 00:02:23,468
You know what I think, Faith?
57
00:02:23,502 --> 00:02:25,603
I think you need to go
and say good-bye to this man.
58
00:02:25,637 --> 00:02:29,140
Too late.
Funeral's happening as we speak.
59
00:02:29,175 --> 00:02:30,943
Well, then you should be there.
60
00:02:30,977 --> 00:02:34,947
That would be a pretty serious
breach of groupie etiquette.
61
00:02:34,982 --> 00:02:36,749
Yeah, well, not healing thyself,
62
00:02:36,783 --> 00:02:38,751
that's a serious breach
of human etiquette.
63
00:02:38,785 --> 00:02:41,653
Bibles of truth, Gabe.
As-salaam alaikum, my brother!
64
00:02:42,989 --> 00:02:44,256
"As-alaika mala."
65
00:02:44,290 --> 00:02:46,759
I'm sorry.
66
00:02:46,793 --> 00:02:49,862
You should go, Faith.
Pay your respects. Say good-bye.
67
00:02:49,897 --> 00:02:51,497
The weight, it will lift off your chest
68
00:02:51,532 --> 00:02:53,433
and you will be able to soar again.
69
00:02:53,467 --> 00:02:56,136
That's all well and good, it really is,
70
00:02:56,170 --> 00:03:00,808
but I can't just show up there
all alone. I c--
71
00:03:00,842 --> 00:03:04,779
I mean, the chick
who rolls up solo to a funeral
72
00:03:04,813 --> 00:03:07,649
is usually the one
who was fucking the dead guy.
73
00:03:07,683 --> 00:03:09,551
Hey, the answer is yes, sweetheart.
74
00:03:09,586 --> 00:03:11,787
I'll be your date, any time.
Here's the thing, though,
75
00:03:11,821 --> 00:03:13,622
can we stop by
an In-N-Out Burger on the way?
76
00:03:13,657 --> 00:03:16,959
I'm fucking famished.
77
00:03:16,993 --> 00:03:18,461
- Hank?
- Yes, Gabe?
78
00:03:18,495 --> 00:03:19,796
I think that you should go with Faith.
79
00:03:19,830 --> 00:03:21,230
Oh, gosh.
80
00:03:21,265 --> 00:03:23,800
I would totally love to, but, uh,
81
00:03:23,834 --> 00:03:25,635
- funerals kinda bum me out.
- Yeah.
82
00:03:25,670 --> 00:03:27,371
Well, I think it would be
a good test for you
83
00:03:27,405 --> 00:03:29,807
to go out into the real world,
see if you can stay sober.
84
00:03:29,841 --> 00:03:31,642
Oh, I don't see why I would.
85
00:03:31,677 --> 00:03:33,178
Yeah. Well, I think
you should try.
86
00:03:33,212 --> 00:03:35,146
Tell me the truth, Gabe.
You just want me
87
00:03:35,181 --> 00:03:37,850
out of your hair for the day,
is that right?
88
00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:38,851
Yes.
89
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:40,486
That shit is cold.
90
00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:42,321
I'm just sayin'.
91
00:03:42,355 --> 00:03:45,892
Ah, fuck sticks.
I guess a field trip
92
00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:49,162
does sound kinda good to me
right about now. Okay.
93
00:03:49,197 --> 00:03:51,665
Can I bring anything back
for you damaged fuckers?
94
00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:54,902
Some coke? Some heroin?
Some, uh, pink dot?
95
00:03:54,936 --> 00:03:56,337
Yeah, if you go to pink dot,
96
00:03:56,371 --> 00:03:58,005
get me some bon bons
or a double dog, or so--
97
00:03:58,040 --> 00:03:59,673
and don't tease me, pretty boy.
98
00:03:59,708 --> 00:04:01,508
I'll fuckin' lay you out, right?
99
00:04:04,546 --> 00:04:15,143
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
100
00:04:58,363 --> 00:05:00,063
Nothing.
101
00:05:00,097 --> 00:05:05,334
Man-on-man sex is intriguing,
yes, but not arousing.
102
00:05:05,368 --> 00:05:07,303
That's very interesting.
103
00:05:12,108 --> 00:05:14,844
It's-it's--
104
00:05:14,878 --> 00:05:16,345
it's okay, Charlie.
105
00:05:16,380 --> 00:05:18,748
It was bound to happen
sooner or later, buddy.
106
00:05:18,782 --> 00:05:22,952
It's okay, I-I support you.
In fact, I am proud of you.
107
00:05:22,986 --> 00:05:26,755
No, Hank, no! I was just--
I was testing myself,
108
00:05:26,790 --> 00:05:29,858
'cause I'm in a pickle, Hank.
It's a big, gay pickle.
109
00:05:29,893 --> 00:05:32,161
I'm sure it is, my bald bromosexual,
110
00:05:32,195 --> 00:05:34,463
and I support you no matter
how many dudes you plow.
111
00:05:34,497 --> 00:05:35,764
I just gotta grab a suit.
112
00:05:35,799 --> 00:05:37,166
What are you doing out of rehab?
113
00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:38,701
I got a funeral.
114
00:05:38,735 --> 00:05:40,202
What?
Who died?
115
00:05:40,237 --> 00:05:41,503
A guy I was seeing.
116
00:05:41,538 --> 00:05:42,871
Faith, Charlie.
Charlie, Faith.
117
00:05:42,906 --> 00:05:44,807
Charlie is my bald, gay agent.
118
00:05:44,841 --> 00:05:48,310
Lovely to meet you, Faith.
I'm truly sorry for your loss.
119
00:05:48,345 --> 00:05:50,479
I'm not gay.
Is there anything I can do?
120
00:05:50,514 --> 00:05:53,216
No. Thank you, Charlie.
That's very sweet.
121
00:05:53,250 --> 00:05:55,018
- It's true what they say.
- Oh?
122
00:05:55,052 --> 00:05:56,319
Gay men are more sensitive.
123
00:05:56,353 --> 00:05:58,020
Gonna need the Porsche too.
124
00:05:58,054 --> 00:05:59,989
But I've got a big, gay meeting today.
125
00:06:00,023 --> 00:06:02,991
I believe funeral trumps
big, gay Hollywood meeting,
126
00:06:03,026 --> 00:06:05,160
- don't you think?
- Oh, depends whose funeral,
127
00:06:05,194 --> 00:06:06,428
- I think.
- Dead rock star.
128
00:06:06,462 --> 00:06:09,498
Oh, okay, yeah. Sorry.
Take the car.
129
00:06:09,533 --> 00:06:10,933
Thanks, Charlie.
130
00:06:10,967 --> 00:06:13,936
Now you can get back to your gay porn.
131
00:06:13,971 --> 00:06:15,438
Oh, yeah. Oh.
132
00:06:34,159 --> 00:06:35,192
- Hey.
- Hey.
133
00:06:35,227 --> 00:06:36,627
Is Krull around?
134
00:06:36,662 --> 00:06:39,096
Uh, that depends.
Are you on the list?
135
00:06:39,131 --> 00:06:41,466
Most definitely not,
my good sir, but, uh,
136
00:06:41,500 --> 00:06:43,534
Krull, the tour manager
should be around here somewhere.
137
00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:45,936
- He'll vouch for me.
- Um, sure, sure,
138
00:06:45,971 --> 00:06:47,705
but maybe I can vouch for you.
139
00:06:47,739 --> 00:06:50,941
Maybe we can make this whole
thing beneficial for both of us.
140
00:06:50,976 --> 00:06:53,644
I mean, I want to get it in,
you want in,
141
00:06:53,678 --> 00:06:55,246
how bad you want it?
Talk to me.
142
00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:59,216
Really, dude? At a funeral?
Have you no shame?
143
00:06:59,250 --> 00:07:00,918
What, are we gonna go
behind a tombstone?
144
00:07:00,953 --> 00:07:02,620
You believe this fuckin' guy?
145
00:07:02,654 --> 00:07:04,555
I'm not gonna suck his dick
to get you in there.
146
00:07:04,589 --> 00:07:05,823
Don't knock it till you try it.
147
00:07:05,857 --> 00:07:06,978
Blowjobs open a lot of doors.
148
00:07:06,991 --> 00:07:08,459
- Bitch.
- Okay, you know what?
149
00:07:08,493 --> 00:07:10,794
Move it along, groupie,
and take him with you.
150
00:07:10,829 --> 00:07:12,896
You watch your tongue,
you filthy mongrel.
151
00:07:12,931 --> 00:07:15,833
This is Faith.
All right?
152
00:07:15,867 --> 00:07:18,068
Have a look and grasp
the cosmic importance
153
00:07:18,102 --> 00:07:20,404
of this lovely, young lady.
154
00:07:20,438 --> 00:07:22,806
Without her there'd be no rock and roll.
155
00:07:22,841 --> 00:07:25,242
Get it?
Got it?
156
00:07:25,276 --> 00:07:27,010
Good, now, fuck off, fatty.
157
00:07:28,713 --> 00:07:30,280
Krull, come here.
Mwah.
158
00:07:30,315 --> 00:07:31,915
Thank you, you're the best.
159
00:07:31,949 --> 00:07:34,618
Anything for you, love.
Who's the civilian?
160
00:07:34,652 --> 00:07:37,320
Hank.
Krull, Hank.
161
00:07:37,355 --> 00:07:40,190
Krull.
Right on.
162
00:07:40,224 --> 00:07:41,191
Good to meet you.
163
00:07:41,225 --> 00:07:43,326
One dead rock star,
164
00:07:43,361 --> 00:07:45,328
now we're dating geezers
from the real world?
165
00:07:45,362 --> 00:07:47,297
Does he look like
he's from the real world?
166
00:07:47,331 --> 00:07:49,932
And do I look like I date?
He's a friend.
167
00:07:49,967 --> 00:07:51,267
Frenemy, really.
168
00:07:51,302 --> 00:07:52,936
Yeah.
169
00:07:52,970 --> 00:07:54,938
What are you doing here, love?
You're not playing nice.
170
00:07:54,972 --> 00:07:56,640
I just came to pay my respects.
171
00:07:56,674 --> 00:08:00,344
I love you, babe, I really do,
but you know what I mean?
172
00:08:00,378 --> 00:08:01,645
It's inappropriate, you bein' here.
173
00:08:01,679 --> 00:08:03,113
It's his old lady.
174
00:08:03,147 --> 00:08:04,948
Come on, Krull, I'll be in and out.
175
00:08:04,982 --> 00:08:08,385
No monkey business, I promise.
Please, don't make me beg.
176
00:08:08,419 --> 00:08:09,719
You promise.
177
00:08:09,754 --> 00:08:12,622
Scout's honor.
178
00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:17,127
All right.
179
00:08:17,161 --> 00:08:18,528
- Kruller, comin' through.
- Not you, pal.
180
00:08:18,562 --> 00:08:20,130
- Not you, pal.
- All right, no plus one.
181
00:08:20,164 --> 00:08:22,166
- Uh-uhh. Mm.
- Good night. Good night.
182
00:08:33,913 --> 00:08:36,815
Ah, hello, hello.
Mm.
183
00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:39,150
Ah, kiss on the head. Ah.
184
00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:41,386
Gotta say, Charlie,
I don't know how I feel
185
00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:43,656
about my new agent showing up in a cab.
186
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:46,592
Sorry, sorry.
The Porsche is in the shop.
187
00:08:46,626 --> 00:08:48,928
Don't worry, Robbie,
Charlie's gonna get a big raise.
188
00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:50,430
He'll be able to afford a second car.
189
00:08:50,465 --> 00:08:52,666
- I'm getting a raise?
- You bet, buddy.
190
00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:56,570
Partners talked about it.
You're goin' places, Dorothy.
191
00:08:56,605 --> 00:08:57,672
Charlie, I got a question for you.
192
00:08:57,706 --> 00:08:59,007
Yeah, what's that?
193
00:08:59,041 --> 00:09:00,775
How many dicks have you sucked today?
194
00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:07,583
Uh, sadly, it has been
a dick-free day thus far.
195
00:09:07,617 --> 00:09:11,186
Charlie.
Doesn't have to be that way.
196
00:09:11,221 --> 00:09:14,190
- Have you tried Grindr?
- Mm, I don't believe I have.
197
00:09:14,224 --> 00:09:17,025
Ooh, you'd know.
198
00:09:17,060 --> 00:09:19,561
It's an app.
Here, give me your phone.
199
00:09:19,596 --> 00:09:22,397
It's amazing, Charlie.
It uses your GPS.
200
00:09:22,431 --> 00:09:24,700
Anywhere you are, you can
find a guy who's ready to fuck.
201
00:09:24,734 --> 00:09:29,205
Wow.
Steve Jobs. Respect.
202
00:09:29,239 --> 00:09:32,374
There you go. You're all set.
You're the "Bald Bear."
203
00:09:32,409 --> 00:09:35,444
Great.
204
00:09:35,479 --> 00:09:37,379
Okay, Robbie.
205
00:09:37,414 --> 00:09:39,248
You're clean, you're sober,
206
00:09:39,282 --> 00:09:40,950
let's get you back in the game, huh?
207
00:09:40,984 --> 00:09:44,653
Let's remind this town
how fucking good you really are.
208
00:09:44,688 --> 00:09:46,222
All right, I got three scripts here.
209
00:09:46,256 --> 00:09:48,958
Any one of 'em would be a killer move.
210
00:09:48,993 --> 00:09:52,395
This one, a remake of Cruising.
211
00:09:53,697 --> 00:09:55,965
That's an interesting idea.
212
00:09:55,999 --> 00:09:58,234
It's a fucking hot idea is what it is.
213
00:09:58,268 --> 00:10:00,637
Script gave me a raging boner.
214
00:10:00,671 --> 00:10:04,074
Me too.
215
00:10:04,108 --> 00:10:07,678
Oh, there you go.
Your first dick of the day.
216
00:10:08,814 --> 00:10:10,247
Huh? What?
217
00:10:10,282 --> 00:10:12,683
Go for it.
You deserve it.
218
00:10:12,717 --> 00:10:16,086
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
219
00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:17,987
I'm good, I'm good,
yeah. See,
220
00:10:18,022 --> 00:10:19,622
I just beat off this morning.
221
00:10:19,657 --> 00:10:21,624
Yeah, should carry me
right through lunch.
222
00:10:21,658 --> 00:10:24,527
Charlie, would you rather beat off
223
00:10:24,561 --> 00:10:26,929
or get your dick sucked
by a 21-year-old
224
00:10:26,963 --> 00:10:29,064
who just skipped out of crunch?
225
00:10:31,534 --> 00:10:35,337
- I see your point.
- Charlie, I insist.
226
00:10:35,372 --> 00:10:38,040
The client insists, Charlie.
227
00:10:38,074 --> 00:10:41,843
Now go get your dick sucked
by a stranger.
228
00:11:00,998 --> 00:11:02,665
Miss you, broheme.
229
00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:04,567
I got the feeling
this is the kind of shindig
230
00:11:04,602 --> 00:11:05,802
you would dig, you know?
231
00:11:05,836 --> 00:11:11,374
Ooh. Howdy.
232
00:11:11,408 --> 00:11:15,211
Howdy yourself.
I'm the widow.
233
00:11:15,246 --> 00:11:19,416
Oh, shitness. My condolies,
and whatnot. I'm Hank.
234
00:11:19,450 --> 00:11:21,551
How do you know my husband?
235
00:11:21,585 --> 00:11:23,420
Oh, I-I didn't. I didn't,
I'm--I'm here with a friend,
236
00:11:23,454 --> 00:11:25,656
and visiting with another friend.
237
00:11:25,690 --> 00:11:27,090
You you know
what the weird thing is, Frank?
238
00:11:27,125 --> 00:11:28,558
Uh, Hank.
239
00:11:28,593 --> 00:11:31,194
My husband's dead and I'm numb.
240
00:11:31,229 --> 00:11:33,363
- It's not so weird.
- I just want to feel something,
241
00:11:33,397 --> 00:11:34,498
- you know? Anything.
- Yeah, you know, it's--
242
00:11:34,532 --> 00:11:36,099
it's understandable.
243
00:11:36,133 --> 00:11:37,500
I-I'm going through
a similar thing right now.
244
00:11:37,535 --> 00:11:40,102
- I-I-I totally understand--
- Shut up!
245
00:11:40,137 --> 00:11:43,406
You'll do.
246
00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:45,407
Uh,
247
00:11:45,442 --> 00:11:47,910
Have you got a few minutes, Frank?
248
00:11:47,944 --> 00:11:49,578
- Well--
- 'Cause I'd really love
249
00:11:49,613 --> 00:11:51,680
to gob your knob.
250
00:11:51,714 --> 00:11:55,050
Well, anything
in your time of need. Come on.
251
00:11:57,654 --> 00:11:58,621
Mm.
252
00:12:00,657 --> 00:12:04,160
Look at this. 'Ello.
253
00:12:05,595 --> 00:12:07,029
Brilliant.
254
00:12:07,063 --> 00:12:08,197
Hey.
255
00:12:08,231 --> 00:12:11,734
Oh, hey, uh, could you, uh,
256
00:12:11,768 --> 00:12:13,602
could you--could you give us
a few minutes here?
257
00:12:13,636 --> 00:12:14,870
Oh, what the fuck, dude?
258
00:12:14,904 --> 00:12:16,371
Can you give me a few minutes?
259
00:12:16,406 --> 00:12:17,886
All right, it's your field trip too.
260
00:12:17,907 --> 00:12:19,107
Come here. Come on--
come here, come here.
261
00:12:19,142 --> 00:12:20,542
- Oh.
- What? Oh.
262
00:12:20,576 --> 00:12:22,110
It was--it was very nice
to meet you...
263
00:12:22,145 --> 00:12:23,545
So nice to meet you.
Brilliant.
264
00:12:23,579 --> 00:12:25,313
And I'm so sorry for your loss.
265
00:12:25,348 --> 00:12:26,981
Not as sorry as I am, my love.
266
00:12:27,016 --> 00:12:30,519
Mm, apparently,
he is not as sorry as I am.
267
00:12:32,655 --> 00:12:35,924
You.
268
00:12:35,959 --> 00:12:36,992
Me?
269
00:12:37,026 --> 00:12:39,828
You look familiar.
270
00:12:39,862 --> 00:12:41,062
I don't believe we've met.
271
00:12:41,097 --> 00:12:43,799
No, I don't believe we have.
272
00:12:43,833 --> 00:12:46,334
You were on the road with him,
weren't you?
273
00:12:46,369 --> 00:12:48,670
Oh, you mean Big Dave in lighting?
274
00:12:48,704 --> 00:12:51,073
Yeah, well, you know, Bingo Starr.
275
00:12:51,107 --> 00:12:53,074
Oh, gimme a break.
276
00:12:53,109 --> 00:12:54,809
You're way too hot for the lighting guy.
277
00:12:54,843 --> 00:12:56,077
Well, thank you.
278
00:12:56,112 --> 00:12:57,912
No, I re-- I remember you.
279
00:12:57,947 --> 00:13:01,649
I remember, the record company
threw some kind of a party.
280
00:13:01,684 --> 00:13:05,420
Was it Greenville?
Maybe, I don't remember,
281
00:13:05,454 --> 00:13:07,822
but you were sort of hangin' around.
282
00:13:07,856 --> 00:13:10,258
There was entirely
way too much eye contact
283
00:13:10,292 --> 00:13:12,493
- between the two of you. Huh?
- Listen, lady,
284
00:13:12,528 --> 00:13:14,262
I-I really don't know
what you're talking about.
285
00:13:14,296 --> 00:13:19,534
He was never gonna leave me,
you know. Ever.
286
00:13:19,568 --> 00:13:21,803
Well, wasn't gonna
write a song about you, either.
287
00:13:21,838 --> 00:13:26,374
Oh, is that what he told you?
That he wrote a song about you?
288
00:13:26,409 --> 00:13:29,110
Ha! How cute!
289
00:13:29,145 --> 00:13:31,780
What was that ballad from
the jazz record, Frank? Help me.
290
00:13:31,814 --> 00:13:33,549
I--I never listen to a--
291
00:13:33,583 --> 00:13:35,517
What was it?
Um, Faith?
292
00:13:35,551 --> 00:13:39,855
I bet you think that
song's about you, don't you?
293
00:13:39,889 --> 00:13:42,057
- Guess I'm just that vain.
- Huh.
294
00:13:42,092 --> 00:13:44,326
Faith.
295
00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:46,294
- Oh, boy.
- Hey,
296
00:13:46,329 --> 00:13:49,631
listen, it's all
just rock and roll, right?
297
00:13:49,665 --> 00:13:54,069
You think I give a fuck
about all his road whores?
298
00:13:54,103 --> 00:13:56,171
I'm the one he came home to.
299
00:13:56,206 --> 00:13:57,339
Thought they had an understanding.
300
00:13:57,373 --> 00:13:59,341
Sorry, I just--
301
00:13:59,375 --> 00:14:01,510
I may not be a nun, but I'm no whore.
302
00:14:01,544 --> 00:14:04,880
Ha! Keep telling yourself
that, sweetie.
303
00:14:04,914 --> 00:14:09,585
And by the way,
our bulldog's named Faith.
304
00:14:10,854 --> 00:14:13,056
Ooh.
305
00:14:13,090 --> 00:14:15,659
You know, all things considered,
that could've gone a lot worse.
306
00:14:15,693 --> 00:14:17,495
Fuck!
307
00:14:17,529 --> 00:14:19,897
God, you know, the last thing
I wanted to do was upset her,
308
00:14:19,931 --> 00:14:21,766
- and...
- Mm-hmm, I know.
309
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:24,502
I mean, just seeing him
all laid out like that,
310
00:14:24,536 --> 00:14:27,505
- it's just too much, you know?
- Mm.
311
00:14:27,539 --> 00:14:29,440
He even had on his necklace.
312
00:14:29,475 --> 00:14:32,844
His cross.
313
00:14:32,878 --> 00:14:37,215
It was my favorite, and he knew it.
314
00:14:37,249 --> 00:14:39,284
He gave it to me
the night before he died.
315
00:14:39,318 --> 00:14:40,952
I got rushed out of there,
I didn't even think
316
00:14:40,987 --> 00:14:42,921
to take it with me,
and now it's gone forever.
317
00:14:42,955 --> 00:14:45,590
That's--that's the problem
with this open casket shit.
318
00:14:45,624 --> 00:14:47,792
In what universe is seeing
a dead person a good thing?
319
00:14:47,826 --> 00:14:50,194
Shit's fucked up.
320
00:14:51,797 --> 00:14:53,198
Come on, let's just get out of here.
321
00:14:53,232 --> 00:14:54,866
Oh, back to rehab, really?
322
00:14:54,900 --> 00:15:00,304
No, I need a drink, maybe ten.
Then back to rehab.
323
00:15:00,339 --> 00:15:02,172
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
324
00:15:05,143 --> 00:15:07,978
- What are you doing?
- Something idiotic, I'm sure.
325
00:15:08,012 --> 00:15:10,714
If I'm not back in ten minutes,
blow someone to find me.
326
00:15:17,488 --> 00:15:20,457
Right on, bald bear.
327
00:15:20,491 --> 00:15:21,925
Let's do this.
328
00:15:21,959 --> 00:15:23,259
Ho, ho, ho, hold on a second.
329
00:15:23,293 --> 00:15:24,594
Hold on a second.
Hold on a second.
330
00:15:24,628 --> 00:15:26,729
I have a confession to make.
331
00:15:26,763 --> 00:15:29,265
I'm not really a homosexual man.
332
00:15:31,635 --> 00:15:34,570
So you wanna play this straight?
That's your game?
333
00:15:34,605 --> 00:15:36,839
Whatever, dude,
I just wanna get my dick sucked.
334
00:15:36,874 --> 00:15:40,911
As you should. I totally
understand, and you're entitled.
335
00:15:40,945 --> 00:15:46,417
I'm pro-gay. I'm pro-sexuality
in any form--any form,
336
00:15:46,452 --> 00:15:48,986
and I really respect and admire
337
00:15:49,021 --> 00:15:50,588
the way you guys are using technology
338
00:15:50,622 --> 00:15:52,256
to get your rocks off
in the middle of the day,
339
00:15:52,291 --> 00:15:56,194
but me, myself, I'm not gay.
340
00:15:56,228 --> 00:15:58,496
I just--
I got myself in the middle
341
00:15:58,531 --> 00:16:01,433
of a huge misunderstanding.
Hu-u-uge.
342
00:16:01,467 --> 00:16:03,768
- "Misunderstanding."
- Don't--no, no, no.
343
00:16:03,803 --> 00:16:07,372
Don't do that.
Yes, I sort of
344
00:16:07,406 --> 00:16:10,976
led a prospective client
to believe I was gay,
345
00:16:11,010 --> 00:16:13,845
'cause that's what
he was looking for in an agent.
346
00:16:13,879 --> 00:16:15,547
He wanted
a "gaygent."
347
00:16:15,581 --> 00:16:19,618
So you're pretending to be gay
for career advancement?
348
00:16:19,652 --> 00:16:21,453
That's really offensive, dude.
349
00:16:21,488 --> 00:16:23,122
Robbie Mac is a brave man.
350
00:16:23,156 --> 00:16:24,790
He's one of the first
fully-out movie stars.
351
00:16:24,824 --> 00:16:29,528
I know. He's incredible.
A real trailblazer.
352
00:16:29,563 --> 00:16:30,863
What if I marched out there
353
00:16:30,897 --> 00:16:33,899
and told him what you just told me?
354
00:16:36,002 --> 00:16:37,970
What if I paid you not to?
355
00:16:45,612 --> 00:16:47,379
Forgive me, father, for I am about to
356
00:16:47,414 --> 00:16:50,816
purloin some shit off a dead man.
357
00:17:04,631 --> 00:17:06,271
What the fuck do you think you're doing?
358
00:17:06,299 --> 00:17:11,036
Uh, I'm just paying respects
to a fallen hero.
359
00:17:11,070 --> 00:17:12,337
You kissed him.
360
00:17:12,371 --> 00:17:15,674
Yeah, I-I was overcome
with emotion.
361
00:17:15,708 --> 00:17:18,510
He was my best friend.
A childhood mate.
362
00:17:18,544 --> 00:17:20,545
If anyone's gonna plant lips
on him, it should be me,
363
00:17:20,580 --> 00:17:22,213
or his wife.
364
00:17:22,248 --> 00:17:24,682
Yeah, you--you're right,
it was a miscalculation.
365
00:17:24,717 --> 00:17:26,851
Wait a second.
366
00:17:26,885 --> 00:17:29,720
You're that cheeky fucker who
threw up all over my baby grand
367
00:17:29,755 --> 00:17:31,622
and ruined my cocaine.
The--the writer.
368
00:17:31,657 --> 00:17:33,090
- Hey, nice--
- Who's not a fan of mine.
369
00:17:33,125 --> 00:17:34,358
Well.
370
00:17:34,393 --> 00:17:35,359
What the fuck are you doing here?
371
00:17:35,394 --> 00:17:36,894
I--I'm a big fan.
372
00:17:36,928 --> 00:17:38,595
- Big fan of--
- Oh, so you're a fan of his,
373
00:17:38,630 --> 00:17:39,763
- but not of mine?
- He's a brilliant
374
00:17:39,798 --> 00:17:41,398
fucking guitar player.
375
00:17:41,432 --> 00:17:43,400
Oh, and I'm not brilliant
in my own regard?
376
00:17:43,434 --> 00:17:45,902
Do you have any idea how hard
it is to be a front man?
377
00:17:45,936 --> 00:17:47,470
The--the pressure
that's on me
378
00:17:47,505 --> 00:17:50,874
to entertain millions
of working-class citizens
379
00:17:50,908 --> 00:17:54,211
and constantly reinvent myself
and maintain my beautiful--
380
00:17:54,245 --> 00:17:56,380
- Everything okay?
- Yeah, it's peachy.
381
00:17:56,414 --> 00:17:58,715
- It's peachy.
- This arrogant fucking wanker
382
00:17:58,750 --> 00:18:00,083
is trying to bugger our dead friend.
383
00:18:00,118 --> 00:18:01,785
Well, maybe we should bugger him.
384
00:18:01,819 --> 00:18:03,086
No, I don't think anybody
should bugger anybody.
385
00:18:03,121 --> 00:18:04,288
- Yeah.
- Come on, now. Come on, boys,
386
00:18:04,322 --> 00:18:05,656
boys, this is really my fault.
387
00:18:05,690 --> 00:18:07,090
He was just trying
to get my necklace back.
388
00:18:07,125 --> 00:18:09,326
You--you're stealing from a dead man?
389
00:18:09,360 --> 00:18:10,660
- No--
- Technically, yes--
390
00:18:10,695 --> 00:18:12,896
Tony gave it to me, okay?
391
00:18:12,931 --> 00:18:14,464
It's the only thing he ever gave me.
392
00:18:14,499 --> 00:18:16,833
Faith, you need to hit the road, love.
393
00:18:16,867 --> 00:18:20,237
Wait a second.
This is Faith?
394
00:18:20,271 --> 00:18:21,639
Yes.
395
00:18:21,673 --> 00:18:24,008
It is a pleasure to meet you,
sweetheart.
396
00:18:24,042 --> 00:18:25,409
Tony talked about you all the time.
397
00:18:25,444 --> 00:18:26,844
Oh!
398
00:18:26,879 --> 00:18:29,313
He said you had an uncanny ability
399
00:18:29,348 --> 00:18:30,948
- to suck killer riffs out of him.
- Ah!
400
00:18:30,982 --> 00:18:35,019
What the fuck is this
skanky skank still doing here?
401
00:18:35,053 --> 00:18:36,287
- I was just leaving.
- All right, yeah.
402
00:18:36,321 --> 00:18:37,956
Good!
No, he can stay.
403
00:18:37,990 --> 00:18:39,430
- Oh, ladies, ladies--
- He can stay.
404
00:18:39,458 --> 00:18:40,792
It's big enough for the both of you.
405
00:18:40,826 --> 00:18:42,093
I think she should probably stay too.
406
00:18:42,127 --> 00:18:44,529
Uh, if she insists on staying,
407
00:18:44,564 --> 00:18:47,599
then I insist on kicking her
in the fucking cunt!
408
00:18:49,135 --> 00:18:50,302
- Oh, the fucking cunt!
- That's enough.
409
00:18:51,538 --> 00:18:52,638
I'll kill you!
410
00:18:52,672 --> 00:18:54,106
I'll kill you!
411
00:18:56,176 --> 00:18:57,276
Oh.
412
00:18:57,310 --> 00:18:59,378
Oh, no! My hair!
413
00:18:59,413 --> 00:19:02,115
Stop it!
Stop it! No!
414
00:19:02,150 --> 00:19:03,784
- Come on, it's time.
- No!
415
00:19:03,818 --> 00:19:04,785
It's time.
416
00:19:05,820 --> 00:19:08,622
Hello, Los Angeles!
417
00:19:08,656 --> 00:19:11,458
If you're seeing me
in this badass holographic form,
418
00:19:11,493 --> 00:19:12,626
that means I must be dead,
419
00:19:12,660 --> 00:19:14,361
which totally sucks for me,
420
00:19:14,396 --> 00:19:16,130
but I don't want any of you good people
421
00:19:16,164 --> 00:19:19,300
feeling sorry for me.
I've had a great fucking life.
422
00:19:19,334 --> 00:19:20,902
I want to thank you all
423
00:19:20,936 --> 00:19:24,138
for coming out
to celebrate my untimely demise.
424
00:19:24,172 --> 00:19:26,307
I leave you with this...
425
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:52,833
Come here, baby.
426
00:19:52,868 --> 00:19:54,735
Come here.
427
00:19:54,770 --> 00:19:56,537
I'm sorry I was such a bitch.
428
00:19:56,572 --> 00:20:00,174
No, God, I'm so sorry
I fucked your husband.
429
00:20:00,208 --> 00:20:01,709
Hey.
430
00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:07,347
It's rock and roll, right?
431
00:20:07,382 --> 00:20:09,116
Yeah, yeah.
432
00:20:09,150 --> 00:20:10,918
Oh.
433
00:20:10,952 --> 00:20:12,853
It's not the dope talking,
434
00:20:12,887 --> 00:20:14,521
but I still really dig
your writing, man.
435
00:20:14,556 --> 00:20:16,757
Thank you.
436
00:20:16,791 --> 00:20:19,426
Yeah, thanks.
437
00:20:19,460 --> 00:20:21,862
You really gotta check out
some of my earlier stuff.
438
00:20:21,896 --> 00:20:24,131
There's some good shit on there.
439
00:20:24,165 --> 00:20:26,633
Before everything
got so fucking polished.
440
00:20:28,903 --> 00:20:30,904
Fucking pro tools.
441
00:20:37,478 --> 00:20:41,281
That dead man there was my best friend.
442
00:20:41,315 --> 00:20:42,916
We met when we were five years old.
443
00:20:44,653 --> 00:20:47,321
We used to go around to
his mum and dad's after school
444
00:20:47,355 --> 00:20:51,726
and wear out their copy
of Exile On Main Street.
445
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:54,929
One day he showed me his penis.
446
00:20:54,963 --> 00:20:58,099
It was alarmingly big
for a five-year-old.
447
00:20:59,969 --> 00:21:01,236
He told me when he grew up
448
00:21:01,270 --> 00:21:04,306
he wanted to be a rock and roll star,
449
00:21:04,340 --> 00:21:06,675
and bugger me if he didn't
grow up and do just that.
450
00:21:08,544 --> 00:21:10,912
So before we put that fucker
in the ground,
451
00:21:10,947 --> 00:21:13,749
I'd like to play you
one of his favorite songs.
452
00:21:13,783 --> 00:21:15,684
After that, you're all invited
back to my place.
453
00:21:15,718 --> 00:21:20,289
We'll consume narcotics,
and listen to Exile, and...
454
00:21:22,224 --> 00:21:25,995
get our penises out
in honor of our fallen comrade.
455
00:21:27,564 --> 00:21:32,269
♪ Saw you stretched out in Room 1009 ♪
456
00:21:32,303 --> 00:21:37,942
♪ with a smile on your face
and a tear right in your eye ♪
457
00:21:37,976 --> 00:21:44,948
♪ whoa-oh-oh, couldn't seem
to get a line on you ♪
458
00:21:44,983 --> 00:21:49,120
♪ my sweet honey love ♪
459
00:21:51,389 --> 00:21:55,325
♪ may the good lord
shine a light on you ♪
460
00:21:57,662 --> 00:21:59,730
♪ Make every song
you sing... ♪
461
00:22:00,765 --> 00:22:03,133
♪ Your favorite tune ♪
462
00:22:03,167 --> 00:22:07,872
♪ may the good lord
shine a light on you ♪
463
00:22:07,906 --> 00:22:10,007
You don't seem
nearly as fucked-up
464
00:22:10,041 --> 00:22:11,742
as everybody else here.
465
00:22:11,776 --> 00:22:15,145
I was tempted to partake,
but it seems like
466
00:22:15,180 --> 00:22:18,182
the kind of night where you need
to feel everything.
467
00:22:18,216 --> 00:22:21,319
Even if it hurts so bad you want
to tear your fucking skin off.
468
00:22:21,353 --> 00:22:24,055
Mm.
I hear that, pretty lady.
469
00:22:24,089 --> 00:22:26,757
Oh, shit, I almost forgot.
470
00:22:38,303 --> 00:22:40,271
This means so much.
471
00:22:40,305 --> 00:22:42,040
Thank you.
472
00:22:43,709 --> 00:22:44,776
Thank you.
473
00:22:44,810 --> 00:22:47,378
So what now?
Back to rehab?
474
00:22:47,413 --> 00:22:49,680
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
475
00:22:49,715 --> 00:22:51,449
Just to pick up my stuff.
476
00:22:51,483 --> 00:22:55,185
I think it's time to come back to life.
477
00:22:55,220 --> 00:22:57,454
- Mm.
- Road beckons.
478
00:22:57,489 --> 00:23:01,692
- Another project awaits.
- Really? Project?
479
00:23:01,726 --> 00:23:05,029
Yeah.
They're my projects.
480
00:23:05,063 --> 00:23:09,033
Yeah, I see a spark,
a flash of true genius,
481
00:23:09,067 --> 00:23:11,402
- and I have to help.
- Mm.
482
00:23:11,436 --> 00:23:13,203
I want them to be
the very best they can be.
483
00:23:13,237 --> 00:23:15,539
You sound like
quite the patron of the arts.
484
00:23:15,573 --> 00:23:19,909
It's what I do. Hmm.
How 'bout yourself?
485
00:23:19,943 --> 00:23:21,377
What about me?
486
00:23:21,411 --> 00:23:23,212
What's next?
487
00:23:23,247 --> 00:23:25,614
Oh, I suppose I should write something.
488
00:23:25,648 --> 00:23:27,816
Sit my ass in a chair.
The chair beckons.
489
00:23:27,850 --> 00:23:30,252
Good for you.
490
00:23:32,356 --> 00:23:34,723
Right, 'cause it's just that easy.
491
00:23:34,758 --> 00:23:37,159
Have a little faith, Hank.
492
00:23:37,193 --> 00:23:39,929
♪ Warm like the evening sun ♪
493
00:23:43,833 --> 00:23:45,234
♪ yeah ♪
494
00:23:46,870 --> 00:23:49,739
Hank Moody, get up
off your ass and come with me.
495
00:23:49,773 --> 00:23:52,341
I'm gonna play you
the greatest song ever written
496
00:23:52,376 --> 00:23:53,943
in the history of the universe.
497
00:23:53,978 --> 00:23:56,813
After which, we shall snort cocaine
498
00:23:56,847 --> 00:24:00,116
and have our assholes
tongued by the angels.
499
00:24:23,374 --> 00:24:26,276
Okay, hi.
500
00:24:26,310 --> 00:24:28,779
Good morning, gorgeous.
501
00:24:28,813 --> 00:24:32,449
- Um...
- Yes, please. I'd love some.
502
00:24:32,484 --> 00:24:33,884
Some what?
503
00:24:33,919 --> 00:24:36,954
Some of your delicious
girl scout cookies.
504
00:24:36,988 --> 00:24:38,455
No, I'm not that.
505
00:24:38,490 --> 00:24:40,191
I'm--I'm here to see Natalie.
Yeah.
506
00:24:40,225 --> 00:24:41,459
Natalie, Natalie.
507
00:24:41,493 --> 00:24:45,629
- Ah, Natalie's my wife.
- Oh.
508
00:24:45,664 --> 00:24:47,731
Natalie took the children to school.
509
00:24:47,766 --> 00:24:50,635
Natalie said,
"Let the new designer in."
510
00:24:50,669 --> 00:24:52,169
Th--that's me. It's--
511
00:24:52,204 --> 00:24:54,471
What Natalie failed to say
512
00:24:54,506 --> 00:24:59,009
is how absolutely fucking
smokingly gorgeous you are.
513
00:25:00,845 --> 00:25:03,414
- I'm gonna go, and then--
- You're gonna come in.
514
00:25:03,448 --> 00:25:06,818
I'm incredibly interested
in what your plans are
515
00:25:06,852 --> 00:25:09,320
for the interior of my home.
516
00:25:09,355 --> 00:25:12,991
Um, could--
could you put some clothes on?
517
00:25:13,025 --> 00:25:14,860
Why would I put some clothes on?
518
00:25:14,894 --> 00:25:17,662
This is the way the baby Jesus made me.
519
00:25:17,696 --> 00:25:19,564
That's nice.
Uh--
520
00:25:19,598 --> 00:25:22,601
I'm joking. Come on,
I'll dig up some trousers.
521
00:25:22,635 --> 00:25:26,004
Are you a fan of mine?
As I am of yours?
522
00:25:26,038 --> 00:25:30,242
Um, you could--
uh, I--I don't know. Uh...
523
00:25:35,381 --> 00:25:37,216
You attached?
524
00:25:37,250 --> 00:25:38,684
Excuse me?
525
00:25:38,718 --> 00:25:41,554
Are you spoken for?
Do you have a lover?
526
00:25:41,588 --> 00:25:43,455
Or many lovers?
527
00:25:43,490 --> 00:25:47,126
There are no wrong answers here,
only arousing ones.
528
00:25:53,633 --> 00:25:54,867
Mm.
529
00:25:54,901 --> 00:25:56,903
You know that fucker?
530
00:25:56,937 --> 00:26:00,373
Oh, yeah.
I know this fucker.
531
00:26:00,407 --> 00:26:03,376
This fucker is supposed to be
in rehab right now.
532
00:26:03,410 --> 00:26:06,379
That fucker was
about a million miles away
533
00:26:06,413 --> 00:26:08,214
from rehab last night.
534
00:26:08,248 --> 00:26:10,983
We shared an eight ball,
among other things.
535
00:26:11,018 --> 00:26:15,221
We spoke of hopes and dreams,
of what the world needs now.
536
00:26:15,255 --> 00:26:18,658
I played him a song
inspired by his "Magnus Opum,"
537
00:26:18,692 --> 00:26:22,061
a song about the healing power
of sex and love
538
00:26:22,096 --> 00:26:25,398
and rock and roll.
He said it sounded
539
00:26:25,432 --> 00:26:29,102
like a pit bull
raping a small, deaf child.
540
00:26:29,136 --> 00:26:30,570
I don't think he meant it
541
00:26:30,605 --> 00:26:31,845
as a compliment!
542
00:26:31,872 --> 00:26:35,141
No, he can be a tough critic that way.
543
00:26:35,176 --> 00:26:38,912
Ow.
Ow, stop kicking me.
544
00:26:38,946 --> 00:26:40,413
Wha--?
545
00:26:40,447 --> 00:26:43,316
Karen, what the fuck?
546
00:26:43,350 --> 00:26:45,018
Hey, you stole my line.
547
00:26:45,052 --> 00:26:47,186
No, then it must be a sign.
548
00:26:47,221 --> 00:26:51,425
It appears that I've had
a relapse of some sort.
549
00:26:51,459 --> 00:26:55,195
I've been tested
and found severely lacking,
550
00:26:55,230 --> 00:26:59,033
and I should probably
go back to rehab posthaste.
551
00:26:59,067 --> 00:27:01,268
You think maybe you can--
you can give me a ride?
552
00:27:01,302 --> 00:27:04,171
Probably get myself--
553
00:27:04,206 --> 00:27:08,509
Oh, well, maybe--
maybe just a few more winks.
554
00:27:08,543 --> 00:27:10,778
I was having the nicest dream.
555
00:27:10,813 --> 00:27:13,014
I was on a beach somewhere with you
556
00:27:13,049 --> 00:27:16,986
and God was marrying us,
and you turned into a mermaid,
557
00:27:17,020 --> 00:27:18,621
and I couldn't find your vagina,
558
00:27:18,655 --> 00:27:20,390
and your hair was covering your breasts,
559
00:27:20,424 --> 00:27:21,825
which was kind of pissing me off,
560
00:27:21,859 --> 00:27:23,627
and then someone was kicking me.
561
00:27:23,661 --> 00:27:25,629
He's fine.
562
00:27:25,663 --> 00:27:29,066
It's cocaine-induced dementia,
there's nothing to worry about.
563
00:27:29,100 --> 00:27:31,301
He just needs his beauty sleep.
564
00:27:31,335 --> 00:27:34,471
In the meantime,
would you like to hear a song
565
00:27:34,505 --> 00:27:37,574
that I penned about the problems
in the Sudan?
566
00:27:37,608 --> 00:27:40,310
I'd really appreciate your take.
567
00:27:45,944 --> 00:27:56,531
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com