1 00:00:01,330 --> 00:00:03,332 Previously on Californication... 2 00:00:03,790 --> 00:00:05,763 This better not be an intervention. 3 00:00:05,797 --> 00:00:07,442 You gotta get your ass to rehab. 4 00:00:07,476 --> 00:00:09,849 Why are you here? Why are you wasting all of our time? 5 00:00:09,883 --> 00:00:11,618 Maybe you're just an asshole. 6 00:00:11,653 --> 00:00:13,959 Your friend Charlie said you drank your own urine. 7 00:00:13,993 --> 00:00:15,363 Hank Moody. 8 00:00:15,398 --> 00:00:16,640 Is that Atticus Fetch? 9 00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:18,768 Let's make a fuckin' masterpiece. 10 00:00:18,802 --> 00:00:20,170 What do you say? 11 00:00:22,706 --> 00:00:23,807 Are you high right now? 12 00:00:25,210 --> 00:00:27,114 It was such an incredible opportunity, 13 00:00:27,149 --> 00:00:28,619 - I didn't want to miss out. - When can you start? 14 00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:29,921 I have the job? 15 00:00:29,956 --> 00:00:31,690 What do you do in the real world? 16 00:00:31,725 --> 00:00:34,498 I traverse the globe in the company of musicians. 17 00:00:34,532 --> 00:00:36,367 - You're a groupie. - I prefer "muse." 18 00:00:36,402 --> 00:00:40,675 I woke up with the most gifted guitar player, but he was dead. 19 00:00:40,710 --> 00:00:41,945 Do you want to get high? 20 00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:56,799 Look, could I stand to lose a few pounds? 21 00:00:56,833 --> 00:00:58,468 Sure, I'm a big boy, I get it, 22 00:00:58,502 --> 00:01:01,473 but addicted to food? That's just fuckin' gay. 23 00:01:01,508 --> 00:01:03,509 Gay, man--I mean, no offense, but it's gay. 24 00:01:03,543 --> 00:01:05,378 I eat 'cause I like the taste. 25 00:01:05,412 --> 00:01:07,914 Look, if I didn't like the taste of it, I wouldn't eat it. 26 00:01:07,949 --> 00:01:11,051 You know what I'm talkin' about, sweetheart, right? Huh? 27 00:01:11,086 --> 00:01:12,988 But wasn't a trip to the emergency room 28 00:01:13,022 --> 00:01:14,662 what brought you here? Severe chest pains? 29 00:01:14,692 --> 00:01:16,192 - Bullshit. - Bullshit. 30 00:01:16,226 --> 00:01:17,827 That was a panic attack, not a heart attack. 31 00:01:17,862 --> 00:01:20,597 It was a panic attack brought on by that shrill voice 32 00:01:20,632 --> 00:01:22,333 of that fuckin' mother of mine. 33 00:01:22,367 --> 00:01:24,336 "Oh, you're too fat, Teddy. You're gonna die. 34 00:01:24,371 --> 00:01:26,105 "You're too fuckin' fat to do anything, Teddy. 35 00:01:26,140 --> 00:01:28,007 You're too fat to work the snowblower." 36 00:01:28,042 --> 00:01:30,510 Fuck her. She's the reason I'm in here, you understand? 37 00:01:30,544 --> 00:01:33,179 They took an EKG on me, all right? 38 00:01:33,213 --> 00:01:34,747 I got the heart of a teenager. 39 00:01:37,385 --> 00:01:39,354 A morbidly obese teenager. 40 00:01:39,388 --> 00:01:42,023 Come on. 41 00:01:42,058 --> 00:01:44,693 Don't be so sensitive. 42 00:01:44,727 --> 00:01:45,761 Faith? 43 00:01:45,795 --> 00:01:48,297 Do you know what time it is? 44 00:01:48,332 --> 00:01:50,867 It's time to get real. 45 00:01:50,901 --> 00:01:53,136 Share with us. 46 00:01:53,170 --> 00:01:54,871 Well, um, 47 00:01:54,905 --> 00:01:57,207 as many of you know... 48 00:01:57,242 --> 00:02:01,045 the other day I woke up next to a guy 49 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:05,417 I was pretty fucking fond of, and he was dead. 50 00:02:05,451 --> 00:02:11,089 So tears were shed, boos were fuckin' hoo'd, 51 00:02:11,123 --> 00:02:13,224 and it sucks to be me. 52 00:02:13,259 --> 00:02:14,726 And that led to the drugs and alcohol. 53 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:16,894 No, not really. 54 00:02:16,929 --> 00:02:19,898 Um, been on pretty good terms with drugs and alcohol. 55 00:02:19,932 --> 00:02:21,800 Hallelujah! Preach on, sister. 56 00:02:21,834 --> 00:02:23,468 You know what I think, Faith? 57 00:02:23,502 --> 00:02:25,603 I think you need to go and say good-bye to this man. 58 00:02:25,637 --> 00:02:29,140 Too late. Funeral's happening as we speak. 59 00:02:29,175 --> 00:02:30,943 Well, then you should be there. 60 00:02:30,977 --> 00:02:34,947 That would be a pretty serious breach of groupie etiquette. 61 00:02:34,982 --> 00:02:36,749 Yeah, well, not healing thyself, 62 00:02:36,783 --> 00:02:38,751 that's a serious breach of human etiquette. 63 00:02:38,785 --> 00:02:41,653 Bibles of truth, Gabe. As-salaam alaikum, my brother! 64 00:02:42,989 --> 00:02:44,256 "As-alaika mala." 65 00:02:44,290 --> 00:02:46,759 I'm sorry. 66 00:02:46,793 --> 00:02:49,862 You should go, Faith. Pay your respects. Say good-bye. 67 00:02:49,897 --> 00:02:51,497 The weight, it will lift off your chest 68 00:02:51,532 --> 00:02:53,433 and you will be able to soar again. 69 00:02:53,467 --> 00:02:56,136 That's all well and good, it really is, 70 00:02:56,170 --> 00:03:00,808 but I can't just show up there all alone. I c-- 71 00:03:00,842 --> 00:03:04,779 I mean, the chick who rolls up solo to a funeral 72 00:03:04,813 --> 00:03:07,649 is usually the one who was fucking the dead guy. 73 00:03:07,683 --> 00:03:09,551 Hey, the answer is yes, sweetheart. 74 00:03:09,586 --> 00:03:11,787 I'll be your date, any time. Here's the thing, though, 75 00:03:11,821 --> 00:03:13,622 can we stop by an In-N-Out Burger on the way? 76 00:03:13,657 --> 00:03:16,959 I'm fucking famished. 77 00:03:16,993 --> 00:03:18,461 - Hank? - Yes, Gabe? 78 00:03:18,495 --> 00:03:19,796 I think that you should go with Faith. 79 00:03:19,830 --> 00:03:21,230 Oh, gosh. 80 00:03:21,265 --> 00:03:23,800 I would totally love to, but, uh, 81 00:03:23,834 --> 00:03:25,635 - funerals kinda bum me out. - Yeah. 82 00:03:25,670 --> 00:03:27,371 Well, I think it would be a good test for you 83 00:03:27,405 --> 00:03:29,807 to go out into the real world, see if you can stay sober. 84 00:03:29,841 --> 00:03:31,642 Oh, I don't see why I would. 85 00:03:31,677 --> 00:03:33,178 Yeah. Well, I think you should try. 86 00:03:33,212 --> 00:03:35,146 Tell me the truth, Gabe. You just want me 87 00:03:35,181 --> 00:03:37,850 out of your hair for the day, is that right? 88 00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:38,851 Yes. 89 00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:40,486 That shit is cold. 90 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:42,321 I'm just sayin'. 91 00:03:42,355 --> 00:03:45,892 Ah, fuck sticks. I guess a field trip 92 00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:49,162 does sound kinda good to me right about now. Okay. 93 00:03:49,197 --> 00:03:51,665 Can I bring anything back for you damaged fuckers? 94 00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:54,902 Some coke? Some heroin? Some, uh, pink dot? 95 00:03:54,936 --> 00:03:56,337 Yeah, if you go to pink dot, 96 00:03:56,371 --> 00:03:58,005 get me some bon bons or a double dog, or so-- 97 00:03:58,040 --> 00:03:59,673 and don't tease me, pretty boy. 98 00:03:59,708 --> 00:04:01,508 I'll fuckin' lay you out, right? 99 00:04:04,546 --> 00:04:15,143 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 100 00:04:58,363 --> 00:05:00,063 Nothing. 101 00:05:00,097 --> 00:05:05,334 Man-on-man sex is intriguing, yes, but not arousing. 102 00:05:05,368 --> 00:05:07,303 That's very interesting. 103 00:05:12,108 --> 00:05:14,844 It's-it's-- 104 00:05:14,878 --> 00:05:16,345 it's okay, Charlie. 105 00:05:16,380 --> 00:05:18,748 It was bound to happen sooner or later, buddy. 106 00:05:18,782 --> 00:05:22,952 It's okay, I-I support you. In fact, I am proud of you. 107 00:05:22,986 --> 00:05:26,755 No, Hank, no! I was just-- I was testing myself, 108 00:05:26,790 --> 00:05:29,858 'cause I'm in a pickle, Hank. It's a big, gay pickle. 109 00:05:29,893 --> 00:05:32,161 I'm sure it is, my bald bromosexual, 110 00:05:32,195 --> 00:05:34,463 and I support you no matter how many dudes you plow. 111 00:05:34,497 --> 00:05:35,764 I just gotta grab a suit. 112 00:05:35,799 --> 00:05:37,166 What are you doing out of rehab? 113 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:38,701 I got a funeral. 114 00:05:38,735 --> 00:05:40,202 What? Who died? 115 00:05:40,237 --> 00:05:41,503 A guy I was seeing. 116 00:05:41,538 --> 00:05:42,871 Faith, Charlie. Charlie, Faith. 117 00:05:42,906 --> 00:05:44,807 Charlie is my bald, gay agent. 118 00:05:44,841 --> 00:05:48,310 Lovely to meet you, Faith. I'm truly sorry for your loss. 119 00:05:48,345 --> 00:05:50,479 I'm not gay. Is there anything I can do? 120 00:05:50,514 --> 00:05:53,216 No. Thank you, Charlie. That's very sweet. 121 00:05:53,250 --> 00:05:55,018 - It's true what they say. - Oh? 122 00:05:55,052 --> 00:05:56,319 Gay men are more sensitive. 123 00:05:56,353 --> 00:05:58,020 Gonna need the Porsche too. 124 00:05:58,054 --> 00:05:59,989 But I've got a big, gay meeting today. 125 00:06:00,023 --> 00:06:02,991 I believe funeral trumps big, gay Hollywood meeting, 126 00:06:03,026 --> 00:06:05,160 - don't you think? - Oh, depends whose funeral, 127 00:06:05,194 --> 00:06:06,428 - I think. - Dead rock star. 128 00:06:06,462 --> 00:06:09,498 Oh, okay, yeah. Sorry. Take the car. 129 00:06:09,533 --> 00:06:10,933 Thanks, Charlie. 130 00:06:10,967 --> 00:06:13,936 Now you can get back to your gay porn. 131 00:06:13,971 --> 00:06:15,438 Oh, yeah. Oh. 132 00:06:34,159 --> 00:06:35,192 - Hey. - Hey. 133 00:06:35,227 --> 00:06:36,627 Is Krull around? 134 00:06:36,662 --> 00:06:39,096 Uh, that depends. Are you on the list? 135 00:06:39,131 --> 00:06:41,466 Most definitely not, my good sir, but, uh, 136 00:06:41,500 --> 00:06:43,534 Krull, the tour manager should be around here somewhere. 137 00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:45,936 - He'll vouch for me. - Um, sure, sure, 138 00:06:45,971 --> 00:06:47,705 but maybe I can vouch for you. 139 00:06:47,739 --> 00:06:50,941 Maybe we can make this whole thing beneficial for both of us. 140 00:06:50,976 --> 00:06:53,644 I mean, I want to get it in, you want in, 141 00:06:53,678 --> 00:06:55,246 how bad you want it? Talk to me. 142 00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:59,216 Really, dude? At a funeral? Have you no shame? 143 00:06:59,250 --> 00:07:00,918 What, are we gonna go behind a tombstone? 144 00:07:00,953 --> 00:07:02,620 You believe this fuckin' guy? 145 00:07:02,654 --> 00:07:04,555 I'm not gonna suck his dick to get you in there. 146 00:07:04,589 --> 00:07:05,823 Don't knock it till you try it. 147 00:07:05,857 --> 00:07:06,978 Blowjobs open a lot of doors. 148 00:07:06,991 --> 00:07:08,459 - Bitch. - Okay, you know what? 149 00:07:08,493 --> 00:07:10,794 Move it along, groupie, and take him with you. 150 00:07:10,829 --> 00:07:12,896 You watch your tongue, you filthy mongrel. 151 00:07:12,931 --> 00:07:15,833 This is Faith. All right? 152 00:07:15,867 --> 00:07:18,068 Have a look and grasp the cosmic importance 153 00:07:18,102 --> 00:07:20,404 of this lovely, young lady. 154 00:07:20,438 --> 00:07:22,806 Without her there'd be no rock and roll. 155 00:07:22,841 --> 00:07:25,242 Get it? Got it? 156 00:07:25,276 --> 00:07:27,010 Good, now, fuck off, fatty. 157 00:07:28,713 --> 00:07:30,280 Krull, come here. Mwah. 158 00:07:30,315 --> 00:07:31,915 Thank you, you're the best. 159 00:07:31,949 --> 00:07:34,618 Anything for you, love. Who's the civilian? 160 00:07:34,652 --> 00:07:37,320 Hank. Krull, Hank. 161 00:07:37,355 --> 00:07:40,190 Krull. Right on. 162 00:07:40,224 --> 00:07:41,191 Good to meet you. 163 00:07:41,225 --> 00:07:43,326 One dead rock star, 164 00:07:43,361 --> 00:07:45,328 now we're dating geezers from the real world? 165 00:07:45,362 --> 00:07:47,297 Does he look like he's from the real world? 166 00:07:47,331 --> 00:07:49,932 And do I look like I date? He's a friend. 167 00:07:49,967 --> 00:07:51,267 Frenemy, really. 168 00:07:51,302 --> 00:07:52,936 Yeah. 169 00:07:52,970 --> 00:07:54,938 What are you doing here, love? You're not playing nice. 170 00:07:54,972 --> 00:07:56,640 I just came to pay my respects. 171 00:07:56,674 --> 00:08:00,344 I love you, babe, I really do, but you know what I mean? 172 00:08:00,378 --> 00:08:01,645 It's inappropriate, you bein' here. 173 00:08:01,679 --> 00:08:03,113 It's his old lady. 174 00:08:03,147 --> 00:08:04,948 Come on, Krull, I'll be in and out. 175 00:08:04,982 --> 00:08:08,385 No monkey business, I promise. Please, don't make me beg. 176 00:08:08,419 --> 00:08:09,719 You promise. 177 00:08:09,754 --> 00:08:12,622 Scout's honor. 178 00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:17,127 All right. 179 00:08:17,161 --> 00:08:18,528 - Kruller, comin' through. - Not you, pal. 180 00:08:18,562 --> 00:08:20,130 - Not you, pal. - All right, no plus one. 181 00:08:20,164 --> 00:08:22,166 - Uh-uhh. Mm. - Good night. Good night. 182 00:08:33,913 --> 00:08:36,815 Ah, hello, hello. Mm. 183 00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:39,150 Ah, kiss on the head. Ah. 184 00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:41,386 Gotta say, Charlie, I don't know how I feel 185 00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:43,656 about my new agent showing up in a cab. 186 00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:46,592 Sorry, sorry. The Porsche is in the shop. 187 00:08:46,626 --> 00:08:48,928 Don't worry, Robbie, Charlie's gonna get a big raise. 188 00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:50,430 He'll be able to afford a second car. 189 00:08:50,465 --> 00:08:52,666 - I'm getting a raise? - You bet, buddy. 190 00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:56,570 Partners talked about it. You're goin' places, Dorothy. 191 00:08:56,605 --> 00:08:57,672 Charlie, I got a question for you. 192 00:08:57,706 --> 00:08:59,007 Yeah, what's that? 193 00:08:59,041 --> 00:09:00,775 How many dicks have you sucked today? 194 00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:07,583 Uh, sadly, it has been a dick-free day thus far. 195 00:09:07,617 --> 00:09:11,186 Charlie. Doesn't have to be that way. 196 00:09:11,221 --> 00:09:14,190 - Have you tried Grindr? - Mm, I don't believe I have. 197 00:09:14,224 --> 00:09:17,025 Ooh, you'd know. 198 00:09:17,060 --> 00:09:19,561 It's an app. Here, give me your phone. 199 00:09:19,596 --> 00:09:22,397 It's amazing, Charlie. It uses your GPS. 200 00:09:22,431 --> 00:09:24,700 Anywhere you are, you can find a guy who's ready to fuck. 201 00:09:24,734 --> 00:09:29,205 Wow. Steve Jobs. Respect. 202 00:09:29,239 --> 00:09:32,374 There you go. You're all set. You're the "Bald Bear." 203 00:09:32,409 --> 00:09:35,444 Great. 204 00:09:35,479 --> 00:09:37,379 Okay, Robbie. 205 00:09:37,414 --> 00:09:39,248 You're clean, you're sober, 206 00:09:39,282 --> 00:09:40,950 let's get you back in the game, huh? 207 00:09:40,984 --> 00:09:44,653 Let's remind this town how fucking good you really are. 208 00:09:44,688 --> 00:09:46,222 All right, I got three scripts here. 209 00:09:46,256 --> 00:09:48,958 Any one of 'em would be a killer move. 210 00:09:48,993 --> 00:09:52,395 This one, a remake of Cruising. 211 00:09:53,697 --> 00:09:55,965 That's an interesting idea. 212 00:09:55,999 --> 00:09:58,234 It's a fucking hot idea is what it is. 213 00:09:58,268 --> 00:10:00,637 Script gave me a raging boner. 214 00:10:00,671 --> 00:10:04,074 Me too. 215 00:10:04,108 --> 00:10:07,678 Oh, there you go. Your first dick of the day. 216 00:10:08,814 --> 00:10:10,247 Huh? What? 217 00:10:10,282 --> 00:10:12,683 Go for it. You deserve it. 218 00:10:12,717 --> 00:10:16,086 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 219 00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:17,987 I'm good, I'm good, yeah. See, 220 00:10:18,022 --> 00:10:19,622 I just beat off this morning. 221 00:10:19,657 --> 00:10:21,624 Yeah, should carry me right through lunch. 222 00:10:21,658 --> 00:10:24,527 Charlie, would you rather beat off 223 00:10:24,561 --> 00:10:26,929 or get your dick sucked by a 21-year-old 224 00:10:26,963 --> 00:10:29,064 who just skipped out of crunch? 225 00:10:31,534 --> 00:10:35,337 - I see your point. - Charlie, I insist. 226 00:10:35,372 --> 00:10:38,040 The client insists, Charlie. 227 00:10:38,074 --> 00:10:41,843 Now go get your dick sucked by a stranger. 228 00:11:00,998 --> 00:11:02,665 Miss you, broheme. 229 00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:04,567 I got the feeling this is the kind of shindig 230 00:11:04,602 --> 00:11:05,802 you would dig, you know? 231 00:11:05,836 --> 00:11:11,374 Ooh. Howdy. 232 00:11:11,408 --> 00:11:15,211 Howdy yourself. I'm the widow. 233 00:11:15,246 --> 00:11:19,416 Oh, shitness. My condolies, and whatnot. I'm Hank. 234 00:11:19,450 --> 00:11:21,551 How do you know my husband? 235 00:11:21,585 --> 00:11:23,420 Oh, I-I didn't. I didn't, I'm--I'm here with a friend, 236 00:11:23,454 --> 00:11:25,656 and visiting with another friend. 237 00:11:25,690 --> 00:11:27,090 You you know what the weird thing is, Frank? 238 00:11:27,125 --> 00:11:28,558 Uh, Hank. 239 00:11:28,593 --> 00:11:31,194 My husband's dead and I'm numb. 240 00:11:31,229 --> 00:11:33,363 - It's not so weird. - I just want to feel something, 241 00:11:33,397 --> 00:11:34,498 - you know? Anything. - Yeah, you know, it's-- 242 00:11:34,532 --> 00:11:36,099 it's understandable. 243 00:11:36,133 --> 00:11:37,500 I-I'm going through a similar thing right now. 244 00:11:37,535 --> 00:11:40,102 - I-I-I totally understand-- - Shut up! 245 00:11:40,137 --> 00:11:43,406 You'll do. 246 00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:45,407 Uh, 247 00:11:45,442 --> 00:11:47,910 Have you got a few minutes, Frank? 248 00:11:47,944 --> 00:11:49,578 - Well-- - 'Cause I'd really love 249 00:11:49,613 --> 00:11:51,680 to gob your knob. 250 00:11:51,714 --> 00:11:55,050 Well, anything in your time of need. Come on. 251 00:11:57,654 --> 00:11:58,621 Mm. 252 00:12:00,657 --> 00:12:04,160 Look at this. 'Ello. 253 00:12:05,595 --> 00:12:07,029 Brilliant. 254 00:12:07,063 --> 00:12:08,197 Hey. 255 00:12:08,231 --> 00:12:11,734 Oh, hey, uh, could you, uh, 256 00:12:11,768 --> 00:12:13,602 could you--could you give us a few minutes here? 257 00:12:13,636 --> 00:12:14,870 Oh, what the fuck, dude? 258 00:12:14,904 --> 00:12:16,371 Can you give me a few minutes? 259 00:12:16,406 --> 00:12:17,886 All right, it's your field trip too. 260 00:12:17,907 --> 00:12:19,107 Come here. Come on-- come here, come here. 261 00:12:19,142 --> 00:12:20,542 - Oh. - What? Oh. 262 00:12:20,576 --> 00:12:22,110 It was--it was very nice to meet you... 263 00:12:22,145 --> 00:12:23,545 So nice to meet you. Brilliant. 264 00:12:23,579 --> 00:12:25,313 And I'm so sorry for your loss. 265 00:12:25,348 --> 00:12:26,981 Not as sorry as I am, my love. 266 00:12:27,016 --> 00:12:30,519 Mm, apparently, he is not as sorry as I am. 267 00:12:32,655 --> 00:12:35,924 You. 268 00:12:35,959 --> 00:12:36,992 Me? 269 00:12:37,026 --> 00:12:39,828 You look familiar. 270 00:12:39,862 --> 00:12:41,062 I don't believe we've met. 271 00:12:41,097 --> 00:12:43,799 No, I don't believe we have. 272 00:12:43,833 --> 00:12:46,334 You were on the road with him, weren't you? 273 00:12:46,369 --> 00:12:48,670 Oh, you mean Big Dave in lighting? 274 00:12:48,704 --> 00:12:51,073 Yeah, well, you know, Bingo Starr. 275 00:12:51,107 --> 00:12:53,074 Oh, gimme a break. 276 00:12:53,109 --> 00:12:54,809 You're way too hot for the lighting guy. 277 00:12:54,843 --> 00:12:56,077 Well, thank you. 278 00:12:56,112 --> 00:12:57,912 No, I re-- I remember you. 279 00:12:57,947 --> 00:13:01,649 I remember, the record company threw some kind of a party. 280 00:13:01,684 --> 00:13:05,420 Was it Greenville? Maybe, I don't remember, 281 00:13:05,454 --> 00:13:07,822 but you were sort of hangin' around. 282 00:13:07,856 --> 00:13:10,258 There was entirely way too much eye contact 283 00:13:10,292 --> 00:13:12,493 - between the two of you. Huh? - Listen, lady, 284 00:13:12,528 --> 00:13:14,262 I-I really don't know what you're talking about. 285 00:13:14,296 --> 00:13:19,534 He was never gonna leave me, you know. Ever. 286 00:13:19,568 --> 00:13:21,803 Well, wasn't gonna write a song about you, either. 287 00:13:21,838 --> 00:13:26,374 Oh, is that what he told you? That he wrote a song about you? 288 00:13:26,409 --> 00:13:29,110 Ha! How cute! 289 00:13:29,145 --> 00:13:31,780 What was that ballad from the jazz record, Frank? Help me. 290 00:13:31,814 --> 00:13:33,549 I--I never listen to a-- 291 00:13:33,583 --> 00:13:35,517 What was it? Um, Faith? 292 00:13:35,551 --> 00:13:39,855 I bet you think that song's about you, don't you? 293 00:13:39,889 --> 00:13:42,057 - Guess I'm just that vain. - Huh. 294 00:13:42,092 --> 00:13:44,326 Faith. 295 00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:46,294 - Oh, boy. - Hey, 296 00:13:46,329 --> 00:13:49,631 listen, it's all just rock and roll, right? 297 00:13:49,665 --> 00:13:54,069 You think I give a fuck about all his road whores? 298 00:13:54,103 --> 00:13:56,171 I'm the one he came home to. 299 00:13:56,206 --> 00:13:57,339 Thought they had an understanding. 300 00:13:57,373 --> 00:13:59,341 Sorry, I just-- 301 00:13:59,375 --> 00:14:01,510 I may not be a nun, but I'm no whore. 302 00:14:01,544 --> 00:14:04,880 Ha! Keep telling yourself that, sweetie. 303 00:14:04,914 --> 00:14:09,585 And by the way, our bulldog's named Faith. 304 00:14:10,854 --> 00:14:13,056 Ooh. 305 00:14:13,090 --> 00:14:15,659 You know, all things considered, that could've gone a lot worse. 306 00:14:15,693 --> 00:14:17,495 Fuck! 307 00:14:17,529 --> 00:14:19,897 God, you know, the last thing I wanted to do was upset her, 308 00:14:19,931 --> 00:14:21,766 - and... - Mm-hmm, I know. 309 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:24,502 I mean, just seeing him all laid out like that, 310 00:14:24,536 --> 00:14:27,505 - it's just too much, you know? - Mm. 311 00:14:27,539 --> 00:14:29,440 He even had on his necklace. 312 00:14:29,475 --> 00:14:32,844 His cross. 313 00:14:32,878 --> 00:14:37,215 It was my favorite, and he knew it. 314 00:14:37,249 --> 00:14:39,284 He gave it to me the night before he died. 315 00:14:39,318 --> 00:14:40,952 I got rushed out of there, I didn't even think 316 00:14:40,987 --> 00:14:42,921 to take it with me, and now it's gone forever. 317 00:14:42,955 --> 00:14:45,590 That's--that's the problem with this open casket shit. 318 00:14:45,624 --> 00:14:47,792 In what universe is seeing a dead person a good thing? 319 00:14:47,826 --> 00:14:50,194 Shit's fucked up. 320 00:14:51,797 --> 00:14:53,198 Come on, let's just get out of here. 321 00:14:53,232 --> 00:14:54,866 Oh, back to rehab, really? 322 00:14:54,900 --> 00:15:00,304 No, I need a drink, maybe ten. Then back to rehab. 323 00:15:00,339 --> 00:15:02,172 Hold on, hold on, hold on. 324 00:15:05,143 --> 00:15:07,978 - What are you doing? - Something idiotic, I'm sure. 325 00:15:08,012 --> 00:15:10,714 If I'm not back in ten minutes, blow someone to find me. 326 00:15:17,488 --> 00:15:20,457 Right on, bald bear. 327 00:15:20,491 --> 00:15:21,925 Let's do this. 328 00:15:21,959 --> 00:15:23,259 Ho, ho, ho, hold on a second. 329 00:15:23,293 --> 00:15:24,594 Hold on a second. Hold on a second. 330 00:15:24,628 --> 00:15:26,729 I have a confession to make. 331 00:15:26,763 --> 00:15:29,265 I'm not really a homosexual man. 332 00:15:31,635 --> 00:15:34,570 So you wanna play this straight? That's your game? 333 00:15:34,605 --> 00:15:36,839 Whatever, dude, I just wanna get my dick sucked. 334 00:15:36,874 --> 00:15:40,911 As you should. I totally understand, and you're entitled. 335 00:15:40,945 --> 00:15:46,417 I'm pro-gay. I'm pro-sexuality in any form--any form, 336 00:15:46,452 --> 00:15:48,986 and I really respect and admire 337 00:15:49,021 --> 00:15:50,588 the way you guys are using technology 338 00:15:50,622 --> 00:15:52,256 to get your rocks off in the middle of the day, 339 00:15:52,291 --> 00:15:56,194 but me, myself, I'm not gay. 340 00:15:56,228 --> 00:15:58,496 I just-- I got myself in the middle 341 00:15:58,531 --> 00:16:01,433 of a huge misunderstanding. Hu-u-uge. 342 00:16:01,467 --> 00:16:03,768 - "Misunderstanding." - Don't--no, no, no. 343 00:16:03,803 --> 00:16:07,372 Don't do that. Yes, I sort of 344 00:16:07,406 --> 00:16:10,976 led a prospective client to believe I was gay, 345 00:16:11,010 --> 00:16:13,845 'cause that's what he was looking for in an agent. 346 00:16:13,879 --> 00:16:15,547 He wanted a "gaygent." 347 00:16:15,581 --> 00:16:19,618 So you're pretending to be gay for career advancement? 348 00:16:19,652 --> 00:16:21,453 That's really offensive, dude. 349 00:16:21,488 --> 00:16:23,122 Robbie Mac is a brave man. 350 00:16:23,156 --> 00:16:24,790 He's one of the first fully-out movie stars. 351 00:16:24,824 --> 00:16:29,528 I know. He's incredible. A real trailblazer. 352 00:16:29,563 --> 00:16:30,863 What if I marched out there 353 00:16:30,897 --> 00:16:33,899 and told him what you just told me? 354 00:16:36,002 --> 00:16:37,970 What if I paid you not to? 355 00:16:45,612 --> 00:16:47,379 Forgive me, father, for I am about to 356 00:16:47,414 --> 00:16:50,816 purloin some shit off a dead man. 357 00:17:04,631 --> 00:17:06,271 What the fuck do you think you're doing? 358 00:17:06,299 --> 00:17:11,036 Uh, I'm just paying respects to a fallen hero. 359 00:17:11,070 --> 00:17:12,337 You kissed him. 360 00:17:12,371 --> 00:17:15,674 Yeah, I-I was overcome with emotion. 361 00:17:15,708 --> 00:17:18,510 He was my best friend. A childhood mate. 362 00:17:18,544 --> 00:17:20,545 If anyone's gonna plant lips on him, it should be me, 363 00:17:20,580 --> 00:17:22,213 or his wife. 364 00:17:22,248 --> 00:17:24,682 Yeah, you--you're right, it was a miscalculation. 365 00:17:24,717 --> 00:17:26,851 Wait a second. 366 00:17:26,885 --> 00:17:29,720 You're that cheeky fucker who threw up all over my baby grand 367 00:17:29,755 --> 00:17:31,622 and ruined my cocaine. The--the writer. 368 00:17:31,657 --> 00:17:33,090 - Hey, nice-- - Who's not a fan of mine. 369 00:17:33,125 --> 00:17:34,358 Well. 370 00:17:34,393 --> 00:17:35,359 What the fuck are you doing here? 371 00:17:35,394 --> 00:17:36,894 I--I'm a big fan. 372 00:17:36,928 --> 00:17:38,595 - Big fan of-- - Oh, so you're a fan of his, 373 00:17:38,630 --> 00:17:39,763 - but not of mine? - He's a brilliant 374 00:17:39,798 --> 00:17:41,398 fucking guitar player. 375 00:17:41,432 --> 00:17:43,400 Oh, and I'm not brilliant in my own regard? 376 00:17:43,434 --> 00:17:45,902 Do you have any idea how hard it is to be a front man? 377 00:17:45,936 --> 00:17:47,470 The--the pressure that's on me 378 00:17:47,505 --> 00:17:50,874 to entertain millions of working-class citizens 379 00:17:50,908 --> 00:17:54,211 and constantly reinvent myself and maintain my beautiful-- 380 00:17:54,245 --> 00:17:56,380 - Everything okay? - Yeah, it's peachy. 381 00:17:56,414 --> 00:17:58,715 - It's peachy. - This arrogant fucking wanker 382 00:17:58,750 --> 00:18:00,083 is trying to bugger our dead friend. 383 00:18:00,118 --> 00:18:01,785 Well, maybe we should bugger him. 384 00:18:01,819 --> 00:18:03,086 No, I don't think anybody should bugger anybody. 385 00:18:03,121 --> 00:18:04,288 - Yeah. - Come on, now. Come on, boys, 386 00:18:04,322 --> 00:18:05,656 boys, this is really my fault. 387 00:18:05,690 --> 00:18:07,090 He was just trying to get my necklace back. 388 00:18:07,125 --> 00:18:09,326 You--you're stealing from a dead man? 389 00:18:09,360 --> 00:18:10,660 - No-- - Technically, yes-- 390 00:18:10,695 --> 00:18:12,896 Tony gave it to me, okay? 391 00:18:12,931 --> 00:18:14,464 It's the only thing he ever gave me. 392 00:18:14,499 --> 00:18:16,833 Faith, you need to hit the road, love. 393 00:18:16,867 --> 00:18:20,237 Wait a second. This is Faith? 394 00:18:20,271 --> 00:18:21,639 Yes. 395 00:18:21,673 --> 00:18:24,008 It is a pleasure to meet you, sweetheart. 396 00:18:24,042 --> 00:18:25,409 Tony talked about you all the time. 397 00:18:25,444 --> 00:18:26,844 Oh! 398 00:18:26,879 --> 00:18:29,313 He said you had an uncanny ability 399 00:18:29,348 --> 00:18:30,948 - to suck killer riffs out of him. - Ah! 400 00:18:30,982 --> 00:18:35,019 What the fuck is this skanky skank still doing here? 401 00:18:35,053 --> 00:18:36,287 - I was just leaving. - All right, yeah. 402 00:18:36,321 --> 00:18:37,956 Good! No, he can stay. 403 00:18:37,990 --> 00:18:39,430 - Oh, ladies, ladies-- - He can stay. 404 00:18:39,458 --> 00:18:40,792 It's big enough for the both of you. 405 00:18:40,826 --> 00:18:42,093 I think she should probably stay too. 406 00:18:42,127 --> 00:18:44,529 Uh, if she insists on staying, 407 00:18:44,564 --> 00:18:47,599 then I insist on kicking her in the fucking cunt! 408 00:18:49,135 --> 00:18:50,302 - Oh, the fucking cunt! - That's enough. 409 00:18:51,538 --> 00:18:52,638 I'll kill you! 410 00:18:52,672 --> 00:18:54,106 I'll kill you! 411 00:18:56,176 --> 00:18:57,276 Oh. 412 00:18:57,310 --> 00:18:59,378 Oh, no! My hair! 413 00:18:59,413 --> 00:19:02,115 Stop it! Stop it! No! 414 00:19:02,150 --> 00:19:03,784 - Come on, it's time. - No! 415 00:19:03,818 --> 00:19:04,785 It's time. 416 00:19:05,820 --> 00:19:08,622 Hello, Los Angeles! 417 00:19:08,656 --> 00:19:11,458 If you're seeing me in this badass holographic form, 418 00:19:11,493 --> 00:19:12,626 that means I must be dead, 419 00:19:12,660 --> 00:19:14,361 which totally sucks for me, 420 00:19:14,396 --> 00:19:16,130 but I don't want any of you good people 421 00:19:16,164 --> 00:19:19,300 feeling sorry for me. I've had a great fucking life. 422 00:19:19,334 --> 00:19:20,902 I want to thank you all 423 00:19:20,936 --> 00:19:24,138 for coming out to celebrate my untimely demise. 424 00:19:24,172 --> 00:19:26,307 I leave you with this... 425 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:52,833 Come here, baby. 426 00:19:52,868 --> 00:19:54,735 Come here. 427 00:19:54,770 --> 00:19:56,537 I'm sorry I was such a bitch. 428 00:19:56,572 --> 00:20:00,174 No, God, I'm so sorry I fucked your husband. 429 00:20:00,208 --> 00:20:01,709 Hey. 430 00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:07,347 It's rock and roll, right? 431 00:20:07,382 --> 00:20:09,116 Yeah, yeah. 432 00:20:09,150 --> 00:20:10,918 Oh. 433 00:20:10,952 --> 00:20:12,853 It's not the dope talking, 434 00:20:12,887 --> 00:20:14,521 but I still really dig your writing, man. 435 00:20:14,556 --> 00:20:16,757 Thank you. 436 00:20:16,791 --> 00:20:19,426 Yeah, thanks. 437 00:20:19,460 --> 00:20:21,862 You really gotta check out some of my earlier stuff. 438 00:20:21,896 --> 00:20:24,131 There's some good shit on there. 439 00:20:24,165 --> 00:20:26,633 Before everything got so fucking polished. 440 00:20:28,903 --> 00:20:30,904 Fucking pro tools. 441 00:20:37,478 --> 00:20:41,281 That dead man there was my best friend. 442 00:20:41,315 --> 00:20:42,916 We met when we were five years old. 443 00:20:44,653 --> 00:20:47,321 We used to go around to his mum and dad's after school 444 00:20:47,355 --> 00:20:51,726 and wear out their copy of Exile On Main Street. 445 00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:54,929 One day he showed me his penis. 446 00:20:54,963 --> 00:20:58,099 It was alarmingly big for a five-year-old. 447 00:20:59,969 --> 00:21:01,236 He told me when he grew up 448 00:21:01,270 --> 00:21:04,306 he wanted to be a rock and roll star, 449 00:21:04,340 --> 00:21:06,675 and bugger me if he didn't grow up and do just that. 450 00:21:08,544 --> 00:21:10,912 So before we put that fucker in the ground, 451 00:21:10,947 --> 00:21:13,749 I'd like to play you one of his favorite songs. 452 00:21:13,783 --> 00:21:15,684 After that, you're all invited back to my place. 453 00:21:15,718 --> 00:21:20,289 We'll consume narcotics, and listen to Exile, and... 454 00:21:22,224 --> 00:21:25,995 get our penises out in honor of our fallen comrade. 455 00:21:27,564 --> 00:21:32,269 ♪ Saw you stretched out in Room 1009 ♪ 456 00:21:32,303 --> 00:21:37,942 ♪ with a smile on your face and a tear right in your eye ♪ 457 00:21:37,976 --> 00:21:44,948 ♪ whoa-oh-oh, couldn't seem to get a line on you ♪ 458 00:21:44,983 --> 00:21:49,120 ♪ my sweet honey love ♪ 459 00:21:51,389 --> 00:21:55,325 ♪ may the good lord shine a light on you ♪ 460 00:21:57,662 --> 00:21:59,730 ♪ Make every song you sing... ♪ 461 00:22:00,765 --> 00:22:03,133 ♪ Your favorite tune ♪ 462 00:22:03,167 --> 00:22:07,872 ♪ may the good lord shine a light on you ♪ 463 00:22:07,906 --> 00:22:10,007 You don't seem nearly as fucked-up 464 00:22:10,041 --> 00:22:11,742 as everybody else here. 465 00:22:11,776 --> 00:22:15,145 I was tempted to partake, but it seems like 466 00:22:15,180 --> 00:22:18,182 the kind of night where you need to feel everything. 467 00:22:18,216 --> 00:22:21,319 Even if it hurts so bad you want to tear your fucking skin off. 468 00:22:21,353 --> 00:22:24,055 Mm. I hear that, pretty lady. 469 00:22:24,089 --> 00:22:26,757 Oh, shit, I almost forgot. 470 00:22:38,303 --> 00:22:40,271 This means so much. 471 00:22:40,305 --> 00:22:42,040 Thank you. 472 00:22:43,709 --> 00:22:44,776 Thank you. 473 00:22:44,810 --> 00:22:47,378 So what now? Back to rehab? 474 00:22:47,413 --> 00:22:49,680 - Yeah. - Yeah? 475 00:22:49,715 --> 00:22:51,449 Just to pick up my stuff. 476 00:22:51,483 --> 00:22:55,185 I think it's time to come back to life. 477 00:22:55,220 --> 00:22:57,454 - Mm. - Road beckons. 478 00:22:57,489 --> 00:23:01,692 - Another project awaits. - Really? Project? 479 00:23:01,726 --> 00:23:05,029 Yeah. They're my projects. 480 00:23:05,063 --> 00:23:09,033 Yeah, I see a spark, a flash of true genius, 481 00:23:09,067 --> 00:23:11,402 - and I have to help. - Mm. 482 00:23:11,436 --> 00:23:13,203 I want them to be the very best they can be. 483 00:23:13,237 --> 00:23:15,539 You sound like quite the patron of the arts. 484 00:23:15,573 --> 00:23:19,909 It's what I do. Hmm. How 'bout yourself? 485 00:23:19,943 --> 00:23:21,377 What about me? 486 00:23:21,411 --> 00:23:23,212 What's next? 487 00:23:23,247 --> 00:23:25,614 Oh, I suppose I should write something. 488 00:23:25,648 --> 00:23:27,816 Sit my ass in a chair. The chair beckons. 489 00:23:27,850 --> 00:23:30,252 Good for you. 490 00:23:32,356 --> 00:23:34,723 Right, 'cause it's just that easy. 491 00:23:34,758 --> 00:23:37,159 Have a little faith, Hank. 492 00:23:37,193 --> 00:23:39,929 ♪ Warm like the evening sun ♪ 493 00:23:43,833 --> 00:23:45,234 ♪ yeah ♪ 494 00:23:46,870 --> 00:23:49,739 Hank Moody, get up off your ass and come with me. 495 00:23:49,773 --> 00:23:52,341 I'm gonna play you the greatest song ever written 496 00:23:52,376 --> 00:23:53,943 in the history of the universe. 497 00:23:53,978 --> 00:23:56,813 After which, we shall snort cocaine 498 00:23:56,847 --> 00:24:00,116 and have our assholes tongued by the angels. 499 00:24:23,374 --> 00:24:26,276 Okay, hi. 500 00:24:26,310 --> 00:24:28,779 Good morning, gorgeous. 501 00:24:28,813 --> 00:24:32,449 - Um... - Yes, please. I'd love some. 502 00:24:32,484 --> 00:24:33,884 Some what? 503 00:24:33,919 --> 00:24:36,954 Some of your delicious girl scout cookies. 504 00:24:36,988 --> 00:24:38,455 No, I'm not that. 505 00:24:38,490 --> 00:24:40,191 I'm--I'm here to see Natalie. Yeah. 506 00:24:40,225 --> 00:24:41,459 Natalie, Natalie. 507 00:24:41,493 --> 00:24:45,629 - Ah, Natalie's my wife. - Oh. 508 00:24:45,664 --> 00:24:47,731 Natalie took the children to school. 509 00:24:47,766 --> 00:24:50,635 Natalie said, "Let the new designer in." 510 00:24:50,669 --> 00:24:52,169 Th--that's me. It's-- 511 00:24:52,204 --> 00:24:54,471 What Natalie failed to say 512 00:24:54,506 --> 00:24:59,009 is how absolutely fucking smokingly gorgeous you are. 513 00:25:00,845 --> 00:25:03,414 - I'm gonna go, and then-- - You're gonna come in. 514 00:25:03,448 --> 00:25:06,818 I'm incredibly interested in what your plans are 515 00:25:06,852 --> 00:25:09,320 for the interior of my home. 516 00:25:09,355 --> 00:25:12,991 Um, could-- could you put some clothes on? 517 00:25:13,025 --> 00:25:14,860 Why would I put some clothes on? 518 00:25:14,894 --> 00:25:17,662 This is the way the baby Jesus made me. 519 00:25:17,696 --> 00:25:19,564 That's nice. Uh-- 520 00:25:19,598 --> 00:25:22,601 I'm joking. Come on, I'll dig up some trousers. 521 00:25:22,635 --> 00:25:26,004 Are you a fan of mine? As I am of yours? 522 00:25:26,038 --> 00:25:30,242 Um, you could-- uh, I--I don't know. Uh... 523 00:25:35,381 --> 00:25:37,216 You attached? 524 00:25:37,250 --> 00:25:38,684 Excuse me? 525 00:25:38,718 --> 00:25:41,554 Are you spoken for? Do you have a lover? 526 00:25:41,588 --> 00:25:43,455 Or many lovers? 527 00:25:43,490 --> 00:25:47,126 There are no wrong answers here, only arousing ones. 528 00:25:53,633 --> 00:25:54,867 Mm. 529 00:25:54,901 --> 00:25:56,903 You know that fucker? 530 00:25:56,937 --> 00:26:00,373 Oh, yeah. I know this fucker. 531 00:26:00,407 --> 00:26:03,376 This fucker is supposed to be in rehab right now. 532 00:26:03,410 --> 00:26:06,379 That fucker was about a million miles away 533 00:26:06,413 --> 00:26:08,214 from rehab last night. 534 00:26:08,248 --> 00:26:10,983 We shared an eight ball, among other things. 535 00:26:11,018 --> 00:26:15,221 We spoke of hopes and dreams, of what the world needs now. 536 00:26:15,255 --> 00:26:18,658 I played him a song inspired by his "Magnus Opum," 537 00:26:18,692 --> 00:26:22,061 a song about the healing power of sex and love 538 00:26:22,096 --> 00:26:25,398 and rock and roll. He said it sounded 539 00:26:25,432 --> 00:26:29,102 like a pit bull raping a small, deaf child. 540 00:26:29,136 --> 00:26:30,570 I don't think he meant it 541 00:26:30,605 --> 00:26:31,845 as a compliment! 542 00:26:31,872 --> 00:26:35,141 No, he can be a tough critic that way. 543 00:26:35,176 --> 00:26:38,912 Ow. Ow, stop kicking me. 544 00:26:38,946 --> 00:26:40,413 Wha--? 545 00:26:40,447 --> 00:26:43,316 Karen, what the fuck? 546 00:26:43,350 --> 00:26:45,018 Hey, you stole my line. 547 00:26:45,052 --> 00:26:47,186 No, then it must be a sign. 548 00:26:47,221 --> 00:26:51,425 It appears that I've had a relapse of some sort. 549 00:26:51,459 --> 00:26:55,195 I've been tested and found severely lacking, 550 00:26:55,230 --> 00:26:59,033 and I should probably go back to rehab posthaste. 551 00:26:59,067 --> 00:27:01,268 You think maybe you can-- you can give me a ride? 552 00:27:01,302 --> 00:27:04,171 Probably get myself-- 553 00:27:04,206 --> 00:27:08,509 Oh, well, maybe-- maybe just a few more winks. 554 00:27:08,543 --> 00:27:10,778 I was having the nicest dream. 555 00:27:10,813 --> 00:27:13,014 I was on a beach somewhere with you 556 00:27:13,049 --> 00:27:16,986 and God was marrying us, and you turned into a mermaid, 557 00:27:17,020 --> 00:27:18,621 and I couldn't find your vagina, 558 00:27:18,655 --> 00:27:20,390 and your hair was covering your breasts, 559 00:27:20,424 --> 00:27:21,825 which was kind of pissing me off, 560 00:27:21,859 --> 00:27:23,627 and then someone was kicking me. 561 00:27:23,661 --> 00:27:25,629 He's fine. 562 00:27:25,663 --> 00:27:29,066 It's cocaine-induced dementia, there's nothing to worry about. 563 00:27:29,100 --> 00:27:31,301 He just needs his beauty sleep. 564 00:27:31,335 --> 00:27:34,471 In the meantime, would you like to hear a song 565 00:27:34,505 --> 00:27:37,574 that I penned about the problems in the Sudan? 566 00:27:37,608 --> 00:27:40,310 I'd really appreciate your take. 567 00:27:45,944 --> 00:27:56,531 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com